Rumors

I heard that a merger is happening. I'll believe it when I see it, America.

New Neighbors

That guy Jack Johnson, the singer, just started working here. I guess his singing isn't paying the bills anymore, so he just got a regular day job. He seems nice enough, but on Tuesday he wore sandals to work. It was pretty inappropriate for the office, but no one gave him a hard time, since it's pretty clear his hopes and dreams are in the shitter. I mean, it would be great to have the luxury to just go sing all the time and whatever, but most of us have kids to feed and put through college. Good luck, new guy, you're gonna need it.

Advice

I could really use some good advice right now. (This is in regards to the amount of sneezing I am doing.)

Weekend

The office is really quiet right now. Except for the sound of a dog pushing a basketball in a stroller down the hall.

Supplies

A bunch of people have been asking me to order supplies for them. I'm not sure how I feel about this. Also, if you accidentally look at porn at work, does that count?

Jesus Christ

I'm really having problems with my wife right now.

In the future

Everyone will be forced by the government to have at least one gay marriage. I am not making this stuff up.